Healthy love is love without any conditions. It is caring about someone, caring about how they are feeling, without needing anything back from them in return. It’s not, I’ll love you, if you’ll love me.
You see the condition in there? It’s always characterised with the word ‘if’ or ‘as long as’ or ‘when’ or ‘because’.
Healthy love is not ‘I love you because of what you do for me’ or for how you make me feel. A lot of people when they first meet are physically attracted to someone else. This is not love and it’s not sustainable in the long term. It might be natural, because we all have a range of aesthetic preferences, but we have to put this aside because in focusing on physical attraction, we are simply liking another person because of how they make us feel about ourselves. What about caring for the other person’s feelings about how they look? A lot of women particularly feel that being branded as pretty, is a curse. They are only ever judged by the world for what they look like, not for who they really are. And they then feel a pressure to look made-up and attractive all the time. How many times do you see paparazzi pictures of celebrities who pop out briefly on a Sunday morning with no make up and really comfy clothes on – and they make that as “news”?
Loving someone healthily is learning to love them for exactly who they – warts and all – and learning how to accept them, especially when they are dealing with their own fears and insecurities, selfishness and ego.
Loving someone is about accepting them for who they really are, not who you want them to be.